I stayed up until...well, now, starting John's birthday cake! It's 4 layers. And I only had one pan. o.o
So anyway, I'm in the weirdest mood. I don't know how to explain it. Like there's something inside me that just wants to explode. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing at this point. I think it could go either way.
Lately I've been feeling terrible and vulnerable, etc. I miss being able to curl up with John when I feel like that and just feeling the strength and protection of his arms rapped tightly around me, and feeling the steady rhythm of his breath on my neck and knowing everything really isn't as shaky and unstable as I feel they are.
This place sucks for things like that.
But what can you do, eh?
Baking lightened my mood considerably but now I think I'm in zombe mode. Maybe that's what the problem is. Right now I feel nothing. My hands even feel like they're going numb. And after everything I've felt this week...feeling nothing would feel...weird. Ironically.
Well I must go. I can't decide if I should try to sleep or if I should let Beowulf lull my into a boredom so great that my brain just shuts down.
Nah, it's not actually that bad, but reading has a way of doing that to me. XD
Yawn.
Oh. I guess that's my answer.
G'night all.
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