I need to write. This school for some reason decided that xanga.com has too much "innapropriate content" for the students to use it, so they banned it. Of course knowing how much worse xanga is than myspace it makes sense. Not.

Speaking of being banned. I got banned (ok, to be fair, "asked") not to come to Rugby practice anymore because evidentally the Rugby team is made up of a bunch of over-religious pre-pubecent boys who find exerting any sort of manliness in front of a female awkward and innapropriate.

God there are so many things I hate about this school. I just need to rant.

I guess you could say this place is nothing like I'd thought...hoped.

I can't stand how freaking religious everyone is. I came here hoping for a conversion - I feel like I'm getting the opposite. I'm angrier, I swear more, I hate more. I feel like I'm back where I was two summers ago; depressed, hurt, alone...confused.

My classes aren't that hard. Theology is killing me, not because of the assignments, or because of the teacher, but because I have to sit there for 110 minutes a week listening to the same bullshit I've been hearing my whole life. It has no meaning to me, no deapth, it's just a bunch of defineless words strung together to sound nice.

It's coming between John and I too. He's getting the conversion I deserve. Things are starting to make sense to him. The Rugby team has given him new life, new hope, new meaning. I don't understand it. Why? Why him? Why with the people I'm so angry at? Should I be angry at him too, but because, for the first time in my life, I don't understand him? No, but it's hard not to be. It's a subconcious thing. I've grown to hate anything Catholic. I'm not to the point where I can deny God's existance, or even God's love for us, but it just seems so distant. So impersonal.

I'm sick too. I don't know if it's allergies or a head cold, but I slept like 3.5 hours this afternoon. I'm probably going to pay for that later. Oh well, at least I wasn't thinking about the Rugby practice I was missing, right?

I think I might be starting to make a FEW friends. One in particular. This girl Liz. She's really nice and she's more...I don't know how to say it. I guess she's less "conservative" than the rest of the school...like me. Not as bad, she's still really Catholic, but I don't know. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not going to lie. I miss my boys so freaking much. It's driving me up a wall. Every time I think about you guys I want to cry. THERE ARE NO BOYS HERE! Okay, there are, but they're so....well, example: the rugby team.

Nate, Mike, Jersy, Yorrick, WHERE ARE YOU? I need you. :'(

I think that's why it's so hard for me to make friends here. I've never been able to get a long with girls that well (Jobeth and Laura being a super special exception for some reason) and the boys here just won't. give. It's like they're on a different planet. Like either they're looking for a wife (*checks Beth off the list*) or they're going to be priests (*checks Beth and all other girls off the list*)

I think I could probably go on and on but I won't. I wish I felt better. I need to hit a punching bag a few hundreded times.