I think the two things that are killing me the most right now are this:
1) I realized that I don't HAVE to care about every word every person says to me. And that I don't have to make everyone happy all the time. Thus, I'm having a difficult time caring about everything that is going on with my parents right now. It's like, look, I know I'm suppoed to go back to FUS and that's that. But they seem to have to drag all this drama and skelletons out of the closet into this and I just...well, I don't give a fuck. Which of course, only makes things worse so I am trying, really I am. But it's just...difficult.
"I'mma do the things that I wanna do..." etc.
2) It was my parents' own fault that I "slipped between the cracks" last year. It was their hypocrasy that pushed me away from the faith. But of course, they don't see that. To them, it's all about me and my poor life choices due to laziness and uncontrolled sexual urges. DUH. Never mind that out of their (particularly my mom) mouth they were preaching patients, self-control, respect, family unity, and Christian love, etc. etc., and out of their (her) fists they were preaching alcholizm, uncontrolled rage, physical AND mental abuse, etc. etc...
"Save your sympathy, who'd you think you're fooling? Everything is dead; now you welcome me to a town called hypocracy."
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