Speaking of being banned. I got banned (ok, to be fair, "asked") not to come to Rugby practice anymore because evidentally the Rugby team is made up of a bunch of over-religious pre-pubecent boys who find exerting any sort of manliness in front of a female awkward and innapropriate.
God there are so many things I hate about this school. I just need to rant.
I guess you could say this place is nothing like I'd thought...hoped.
I can't stand how freaking religious everyone is. I came here hoping for a conversion - I feel like I'm getting the opposite. I'm angrier, I swear more, I hate more. I feel like I'm back where I was two summers ago; depressed, hurt, alone...confused.
My classes aren't that hard. Theology is killing me, not because of the assignments, or because of the teacher, but because I have to sit there for 110 minutes a week listening to the same bullshit I've been hearing my whole life. It has no meaning to me, no deapth, it's just a bunch of defineless words strung together to sound nice.
It's coming between John and I too. He's getting the conversion I deserve. Things are starting to make sense to him. The Rugby team has given him new life, new hope, new meaning. I don't understand it. Why? Why him? Why with the people I'm so angry at? Should I be angry at him too, but because, for the first time in my life, I don't understand him? No, but it's hard not to be. It's a subconcious thing. I've grown to hate anything Catholic. I'm not to the point where I can deny God's existance, or even God's love for us, but it just seems so distant. So impersonal.
I'm sick too. I don't know if it's allergies or a head cold, but I slept like 3.5 hours this afternoon. I'm probably going to pay for that later. Oh well, at least I wasn't thinking about the Rugby practice I was missing, right?
I think I might be starting to make a FEW friends. One in particular. This girl Liz. She's really nice and she's more...I don't know how to say it. I guess she's less "conservative" than the rest of the school...like me. Not as bad, she's still really Catholic, but I don't know. We'll see how that goes.
I'm not going to lie. I miss my boys so freaking much. It's driving me up a wall. Every time I think about you guys I want to cry. THERE ARE NO BOYS HERE! Okay, there are, but they're so....well, example: the rugby team.
Nate, Mike, Jersy, Yorrick, WHERE ARE YOU? I need you. :'(
I think that's why it's so hard for me to make friends here. I've never been able to get a long with girls that well (Jobeth and Laura being a super special exception for some reason) and the boys here just won't. give. It's like they're on a different planet. Like either they're looking for a wife (*checks Beth off the list*) or they're going to be priests (*checks Beth and all other girls off the list*)
I think I could probably go on and on but I won't. I wish I felt better. I need to hit a punching bag a few hundreded times.